CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
