i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
