Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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