Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
