i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
