I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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