It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
