so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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