ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
