Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
