I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
