My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
