Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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