google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you traded sex for a burrito?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I will be naked everywhere
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
