I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
