I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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