I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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