We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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