we're chasing vodka with high fives
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It's official drugs can't kill me
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
