he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
