Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Let's paint friendship bongs
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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