Fuck appropriateness.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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