Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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