..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
