she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
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