Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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