OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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