Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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