Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
