I must be too annoying 4 u.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Randomize
