I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Dignity is for republicans.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
