The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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