For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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