i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
