Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
