Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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