Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
