Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
