Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Randomize
