I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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