Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Randomize
