hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I touched a dick in church today
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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