Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
