booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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