Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
