Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
