Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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