I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
