He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
