Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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