dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
